new era detriot tigers blue and orange hats

new era detriot tigers blue and orange hats -

You've just lost a major customer. An investment you've made has collapsed. You've failed an exam essential to the qualification you need. How do you deal with such set-backs?

Are you immobilised by regret, disappointment, stress or worry? Or are you the resilient type who can quickly shrug off disappointments and refocus on action to build the future?

I spoke to Chartered Psychologist, development trainer and executive coach Graham W Price, who teaches his clients how to become more resilient so they can focus on action rather than dwelling on past or present losses.??

Some coaches and development trainers argue there's no such thing as failure, only learning opportunities. ?A helpful perspective, says Price, but it's not the whole story. In fact, he says, it's usually unrealistic to expect us to review setbacks in such a positive way. Yes there can be learnings, but the truth is most people would rather do without the setback even if this means doing without the learning. Indeed Price believes the problem with trying to ‘reframe' setbacks into something positive, is that it reinforces the idea that situations can only be accepted if they're positive.

Price advocates acceptance rather than ‘reframing', viewing the latter as a bonus if we can do it. The key to resilience is to be able to accept negative situations and events, at the new era detriot tigers blue and orange hats same time as focusing on action to change them or otherwise improve the future.

Price points out that almost all negative thoughts, such as regret, dissatisfaction, unhappiness, disappointment, upset, stress or irritation involve wishing something were ‘already' different. In other words we're wishing something that's happened hadn't happened or we're wishing that a situation that exists right now didn't exist right now. Both are wishing for the impossible.

Most people, says Price, new era detriot tigers blue and orange hats are aware the past cannot new era detriot tigers blue and orange hats be changed and that it makes sense to accept it, though we may not always do this. We may not be so aware that the present can never be changed either. We may be able to change the next moment or the future but we can never undo what already is.

And yet that's precisely what people want whenever they're dissatisfied about anything. They're wanting the past or present moment to be different, which is always impossible.? The only exception is worrying about the future which Price says is just as irrational - but more on that later.

Wanting things to be already different is called ‘resisting what is'. The opposite is ‘accepting what is', which simply means not wishing things were already different. Being able to ‘accept what is' is the basis of resilience. It allows us to focus only on action to improve the future.